https://youtu.be/w-PI2vCA9ck
Transcript:
Other:
Today, the climate skeptics are making new hay over the revelation of false IPCC claims.
In India, claims that the glaciers will soon melt have been proven conjectural.
In the Netherlands, claims that 50% of the country is below sea level have been exploded.
And in the US, snowfalls have broken records that stood 80 years.
Hitler:
Get Phil Jones to say that science is settled, everything will be fine.
Other:
My Fuhrer, Dr. Jones …
Dr. Jones has admitted that there has been no statistically significant warming for the last 15 years.
He can’t find his data.
Hitler:
The following people will stay here: Mann, Hansen, Revkin, Pachauri.
The science is settled!
Jones told me that the science is settled!
How will we be funded if the media rubes don’t scare the pols into giving us other peoples’ money?
Can you picture me in a real job?
Climate does not equal weather.
We’ve got to keep saying that climate doesn’t equal weather.
The “best minds in climate science” can’t find their fucking data?
Other:
My Fuhrer, these are the best scientists we could buy!
Hitler:
Inbred morons, camp followers and failures!
Other:
My Fuhrer, we did our best to hide the decline.
Hitler:
Hide the decline? Like we hid the medieval warming period!
It lasted 500 years.
And we just left it off the “hockey stick” like no one would notice.
We were so sure that the pet media favored global wealth redistribution.
For years I’ve made a killing off this stuff!
I even to that washed-up lardass the Nobel Prize …
For “peace”!
He’s up to half a billion!
The CRU refuses to release their data until they get a court order and still Jones tries to stall them!
Why do I pay the National Science Academy …
If not to give a money-making theory some shred respect?
And not just in Europe.
But Berkeley.
They’ll give us all their money if we make them feel important.
That was always the strategy with the gullible.
Wiping their asses with one sheet of paper.
Driving their Priuses to Starbucks.
Crying “No blood for oil!”
Outside:
It’s OK. He didn’t mean that about Starbucks.
Hitler:
The whole fucking thing is falling apart.
And my 401K is in the toilet.
Citibank.
They’re waking up to it.
Maybe we could go back to global cooling.
That gave us a pretty good run, find some unfunded scientists.
Shouldn’t be too hard.