Physics Guy Rap

This lyrical misadventure is the result of hasty two-night extra-credit project I did many years ago for a physics class in high school. Frankly, looking back, some of these lines are pretty awful.. I’ve kept this up on the Web because people seem to like it, not because lines like “electrodynamics is more than playing with resistors” don’t make me cringe every time I hear them again.

I only hope that you, the viewer, will keep these points in mind should you choose to view the following.

Lyrics
Your attention please! Now, I’m afraid,
we’ll be departing from our standard procedure today.
I’m a straight-up geek; science is my trade
Perhaps that’s why I’ve never been (…)

But I’ve got wit like a razor blade,
and I’m down to plug a hole in my daily grade,
so be sure that close attention is paid,
’cause this **** ain’t gonna be replayed.

Lemme tell y’all bout a field that gets me going.
It’s hip like a thong, and it’s fly like a Boeing.
It’s super-scientific and it’s semi-pseudo-mystical,
so now it’s time… to get physical!

So here’s the story from alpha to zeta,
eta, theta, iota to omega.
If you got a quantity to quantify,
it sounds cooler in Greek… don’t ask me why!
More important, though, the concepts that underly
the situation or the problem to which they apply;
the fundamentals fascinate me, I can’t deny,
and that’s exactly why… I’m a physics guy.

Nuclear, atomic and molecular physics
tell us what we’re made of, and more than just the basics.
Astronomy looks into the universe,
and whether the Big Bang could kick into reverse.

Acoustics: it’s the science of sound.
Geophysics makes the world go round.
Statistical mechanics, now there’s something profound!
Kinematics tells you when you’re gonna hit the ground.

Electromagnetism makes for damn cool trains.
Fluid dynamics powers our airplanes.
Elementary particle physics says neutrinos exist.
Mathematical physics keeps Wolfram in business.

Solid-state physics brought us transistors.
Electrodynamics is more than playing with resistors.
Thermodynamics tells us all about heat.
Plasma physics is also pretty neat!

Optics looks into the behavior of light.
Damn, this field is broad, all right!
As studies go, physics is “hella tight”!
Better get used to staying up all night…

but you don’t gotta be cool, or exceptionally brainy,
’cause it’s all universally awesome, like Amy.
Drop the straight jacket – ain’t gonna restrain me,
’cause physics gets me positively crazy!

So here’s the story from alpha to zeta,
eta, theta, iota to omega.
If you got a quantity to quantify,
it sounds cooler in Greek… don’t ask me why!
More important, though, the concepts that underly
the situation or the problem to which they apply;
the fundamentals fascinate me, I can’t deny,
and that’s exactly why… I’m a physics guy.

Now get ready to yell ’til your voice gets hoarse!
Neglect the effect of gravitational force,
and get your hands in the air – now you got the notion,
so come on, let me see some oscillatory motion!

One more time, from alpha to zeta,
eta, theta, iota to omega.
If you got a quantity to quantify,
it sounds cooler in Greek… don’t ask me why!
More important, though, the concepts that underly
the situation or the problem to which they apply;
the fundamentals fascinate me, I can’t deny,
and that’s exactly why I’m a physics guy.

Yes, that was the story from alpha to zeta,
eta, theta, iota to omega.
If you got a quantity to quantify,
it sounds cooler in Greek… don’t ask me why!
More important, though, the concepts that underly
the situation or the problem to which they apply;
the fundamentals fascinate me, I can’t deny,
and that’s exactly why… I’m a physics guy!